found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
