the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i dont even know how to be here
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
