i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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