Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
