Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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