Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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