Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
