Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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