Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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