Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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