What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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