For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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