Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
