The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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