Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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