I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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