Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
