based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i wish my penis had a tongue
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
