I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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