i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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