i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
