The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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