You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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