Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
