I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
