You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
