how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
