He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
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