These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
