the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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