its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
