Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
