I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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