Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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