id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You took a bar mat shot.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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