I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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