proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
