The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
