I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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