I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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