The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
