I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
