conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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