I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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