I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
