Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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