Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
