Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
