Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
