I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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