and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
